Can you get ‘virtual’ cold turkey??

So….. due to several things happening to me recently…. I have decided to make a few changes in my life. Nothing major…. but some necessary adjustments. I absolutely bleddy love the life I’ve got now… which will never be perfect (repeat that there’s no such thing as perfection) but it’s [almost] as good as it gets.

Our lives evolve through all sorts of events, many that we have no control over, lots of our own choices and some by the influence of others. One thing I’ve learnt is (repeat) ‘To change things in our lives, we must change things in our lives’ … it’s been a mantra of mine for a decade or so. And I believe it. I can never ‘do’ same old same old. It’s not in my nature. My life is personal to me…. no other bugger walks in my shoes…. or pays my b’stard bills. So it’s up to me. And to quote the cliche… I did it my way. We all do.

We can have similar opinions on things… as well as vehemently opposed ones. We can agree to disagree. We are all unique. Some more fecking ‘unique’ than others 🤣

So the changes I’ve been making are about me of course. One is cutting down on the booze! Shock horror 😳… we know it’s not great to over indulge… but we do. I fucking did recently, and disgraced myself…. at one of my buddy’s celebrated soirées, I drank too much, ate too little and sweltered in the sunshine. Not a great mix. Result? In the end, whilst clearing up, I fell down completely arseholed. Unfortunately, being the hefty old maid I am, my buddy couldn’t get me up. And having back, strength and coordination issues, and basically being completely lashed..I was screwed. It took me fecking ages to get up, scraped my knees, hurt my toe and was in a total mess. The upside was that being so bleddy drunk I didn’t do any other damage. Not how a 69 year old woman should behave. I was fucking mortified and ashamed. And it was very sobering. So I resolved to change. It’s actually not been that bad, yes I’ve had the odd drink…, but the memory of being a total twat is still fresh in my mind…. the great thing is I feel a whole bunch better. And I damn well like that. And it’s cheaper. Down side is, I’ve developed a sweet tooth. Hey ho swings and roundabouts… I’ll deal with that another day.

But the biggest change I’m currently making is withdrawing from social media…. hell fire!! That’s a big deal too. But this is one I’ve been contemplating for some time. It’s been a great help to me in the past, and have made a lot of new friends in my new and improved life. But it’s become a habit. Spending time on it was a big part of my everyday life. But since I came to live in Paradise, I have become increasingly part of the real world. And I love it …. I feel like an individual again. Not one of a huge crowd. (I actually don’t like crowds!) I have learnt I’m happy in my own company. I’m happy to be me. Social media helped with that …. but now (at fucking last) I can stand on my own two feet. And I’ve found (as with my last rant) that the balance between the positives and negatives on social media are changing …. in a way I don’t like. So that’s why I’m taking a break.. how long for I don’t know. Because basically I am a curious person. That’s one way of putting it eh??

I like to see what friends are up to. But I don’t like the negativity, intolerance, bigotry, politics etc., and have spent endless time hiding posts, snoozing people, deleting irrelevant advertisements (money money money for good old Facebook) as well as ‘unfriending’ those who don’t interact, or put up stuff I find offensive. So I asked myself “why are you wasting good time doing all of that?” The answers I gave myself were mixed. But on balance it was a negative result. There was more I disliked than liked! So it was ripe for a change.

But like the booze situation, I can’t stop just like that … I need to ease my way out of it. Same when I gave up smoking … I kept a packet of fags in the drawer …. just in case. And I did have the odd puff over the first few months. Tasted like shit each time. So I gave up! When I lost over three stone in weight … there was always the bag of crisps and chocolate biscuits to resort to in an emergency. I am fortunate to be one of those people that when I make my mind up to do something …. then I’ll bleddy do it! And accept it’s never easy, but if I fail one day, I can start again the next! Life isn’t an easy option… and it never stays the same …. you just have to learn to roll with it.

So to withdraw from social media, I had to build up that resolve. First I used the screen time app, to see just how much time I spent on my phone (and other devices) … that was a fucking shocker… it was almost like a full time job! Admittedly a lot of the time was for blogging and writing … but a shitload more on chuffing Facebook!! So I reduced my time by over a half … using it mainly in the morning and evening, and the random few minutes in the day. This is when I realised that I spent more time getting rid of stuff than enjoying the content I was looking for! WTF?? Stuff I posted up was mostly sodding drivel…. as that’s what I write. Photos of Paradise… widely appreciated…. but repetitive nonetheless. Occasionally commenting on others etc….

So hence I decided to really withdraw … so I let people know… (and was humbled by the nice comments) … so they didn’t think I’d popped my clogs, entered a monastery or completely gone gaga (that could still happen) … so I did some research. I didn’t really want to delete my whole account …. as there’s some stuff ‘attached’ to it …. like photos, blogs and memories… so found I could deactivate it temporarily. Ideal I thought…. then there’s a hechnical titch! I couldn’t post anything to my Facebook blog page …. ffs. I didn’t want to leave my ‘followers’ in the lurch…. as I’ve gained a few now…. and although they are gradually finding my page .., they’ve not all found and followed it yet.

Then the fucking lightbulb moment. Following another mantra…. keep it simples! …. the solution. Just log out of the bleddy thing. People will still know I’m around … just not saying/doing anything… it’ll give me a breathing space… until I decide whether to deactivate…. (makes me sound like a bleddy Dalek ‘deactivate deactivate’ …. silly me)

Anyway I’m temporarily away from being sucked into to virtual world…. how I’ll cope is a bleddy mystery … but there’s only one fecking way to find out eh??

Here goes bugger all…. I’m off to the real world.

The internet. Hmmm

I’ve not written much lately…. I’ve not felt the need. Now there’s a bleddy thing!! As I’ve always used writing as a way of not only charting my progress through my life’s journey, but also to get the jumbled thoughts (on anything) out of my stooopid head. It takes the pressure off the Head Squirrels, who always seemed to be fighting the evil influences of the Brain Gremlins….

But I reckon they’ve all taken a well deserved holiday! Whooppeefuckingdoo!! It’s taken long enough. They must have been sick and tired of all my shit.

But yesterday the Bear got poked. Thanks to the influences of the chuffing internet. Which was disappointing, as I have reduced my time on it quite drastically. I actually choose to use it, rather than think I should be on it …. you may like to take a second to think about that … or not… the choice is yours!

An increasing amount of people constantly have their phones/laptops/pcs in front of them… like an appendage… an external brain even! Many rely on what they can find on it. We are in a technology age…. a great deal of work is IT based … and sitting there right beside the business bit, is the social media stuff, and information on absolutely anything.

The world before technology is increasingly criticised for being responsible for the shit the world is currently in … I am of the generation that is being held responsible. Hmmm… personally I think technology (and greed) are the culprits!

I am old school. I don’t give a flying fuck if I have an opinion that doesn’t sit well with today’s agendas. I don’t need endless fecking ‘reports’ to prove a differing opinion. I will always listen to a sensible debate … by someone who can form their own opinions, without resorting to finding stuff on the web to back up theirs.

This may seem to contradict my belief that the internet is an easy source of knowledge. But as with everything in life, as throughout history, contradictions always abound.

Life is one huge fecking paradox!

Personally, I am happy and comfortable with myself. I don’t need to ‘peddle’ someone else’s facts, unless I have experienced the same.

Which is why all the people who were born into the computer age, will never understand that we all fucking survived without it. It wasn’t perfect then. It sure as fuck ain’t perfect now. But people our age don’t need to be ‘corrected’ or even patronised that we ‘don’t understand’.

The irony is that I now choose to live a fair bit in the way I did before computers started their takeover. Before consumerism became an ogre. Before knowledge was tampered with. I live as simple as I can … I limit my time ‘believing’ everything I read online.

A simple fact…. from my own real life experience. Up until maybe 15 years ago, I personally knew about a half a dozen people who took their own lives. In the last 15 years, I have lost count of friends and families who have suffered from loved ones who took the only way out that they thought was open to them. I only knew a handful of people who were suffering with anxieties or depression (including my mother, my son and myself) ….. nowadays it’s an epidemic.

I cannot attribute it all to the internet… but … and it’s a BIG BUT! There is a bit of irony that these increases came about at about the same time as social media? Coincidence? (And a good friend of mine always says there is no such thing as coincidence.. )

So forgive me if I hold an opinion that differs from your own… I do not need a verbal slap or correction online. Come and talk to me face to face, without any techie aids, with your own thoughts. I’ll listen, as I love a good, polite and reasoned debate. But not politics…. I’m soooo done with that lol…….

In the meantime …. I’m off to enjoy this in real life…. so much nicer than a screen

I’ve only gone a bleddy done it!! (Well almost)

So yesterday I completed printing off 656 pages of my scribbling.. I decided to do it for the fact I was getting as teasy as a rat trying to edit the sodding stuff on a screen… far too slow a process, to cross reference for repetitions etc., and I was losing the fecking will to live… which led to procrastination… which led to bugger all happening.

So my ‘solution’ was to print the whole shebang off. And nope… I couldn’t pay for it to be done… my shoestring budget involves a very short, broken and frayed bit of sodding shoestring…. but hereby lay another dilemma…. my printer was old… unreliable and the ink expensive. But hey ho … use one cartridge a month for the next zillion years and I’ll get the b’stard job done. Then Lady Luck took pity on my pathetic situation… a very kind friend (unbeknown to my plight) offered me another printer, as he had upgraded…. hallefuckinglujah!! It even came with a whole bunch of replacement cartridges. Manna from heaven…. and then I found out they were cheap as chips to buy anyway. What a bleddy result.

Only downside was that it was slow printing …. but the fact I could actually get the damn job done was something. I soon learnt that it was sensible (sensible me?? Wahaha) to do it in rounds of 25 pages, as my attention span often fucked off to play somewhere else.

What I didn’t learn… until the last final push of 156 remaining pages, is not to over use the domestic printer …. as I ended up with a whole raft of arseholing alien gobbledygook …. I was none too pleased…. though it did cause much amusement amongst so called friends!!

But I was determined to finish getting it all printed …. so allowed some time for said b’stard printer (and myself) to cool down …. and finished getting the whole lot on paper!!

At first I looked at it all, the makings of three books in all…. all to be split and edited. My first reaction was ‘fucking hell’ …. the thought of the task ahead was going to be a time consuming twatting epic waste of time… who the fuck was going to read them anyway? It’ll never be worth publishing anything…. even if I could get ‘someone’ or anybleddyone to be remotely interested … or even afford to self publish…, after all my broken shoestring ain’t gonna stretch that fucking far!!!

So I left the whole shitload of spent rainforest on the table …. and sat down for a well deserved hit of caffeine…. looking at the whole wasted effort. Bollocksandarse…..

But…. and now I’m bleddy impressed with myself…. I practiced what I preach! I looked at the paper mountain in a different way!

Holy Mother of St Piran!! That pile was a tangible result of several years of emotional outpourings…. of memories…. and personal failures and triumphs. It’s my story …. I fucking wrote it!!! I began to look at it with some pride. I fucking did it!! I did what I set out to do…. and not just one book… but the makings of three!! How chuffing epic is that??

Ok, it still has a long way to go to be finished… but I now have the whole thing in my hands…. to work on in comfort, pages to turn, notes to make, as and whenever I want. Touchy feely proof of my efforts in life… I am bleddy proud of how far I have come…. I am achieving a dream.

Most of all… I am believing in myself… I won’t apologise for who or what I am anymore…..

The journey has been worth every single word like I fucking wrote!!

Another milestone has been reached …. dreams can come true.. may not be how I planned.. but plans are bleddy overrated anyway !!

On the flip of a coin

Nope…. not the song by The Streets… but the literal ‘meaning’ …. the coin that’s flipped in the air, accompanied by the shout of “heads or tails”…. a way of making a fair decision …. (but it really only seems fair, if it goes the way you want it to go). But what it actually does, is take the long process of indecision away from a situation. It’s a long established, and accepted way of settling disputes, starting points, guessing games and general sportsmanship….

Now me being of the non intellectual, or particularly well educated variety of numpties, I have this bleddy penchant for not only passing opinions, I also ask questions, but in both cases, it’s often in a roundabout and frequently misunderstood way. Duh. Comes with the territory of the dreaded written word…. it’s a fecking hard world to live in at times.

And the worst place to practice this is on social media. Bugger me, you can be offended and be offensive almost at the same time. You see others with a life that seems so chuffing perfect, it makes your own seem boring and mundane…. even worthless. People proud of their achievements or choices. Showing their perfect love and affection for their significant others, with their exciting social lives…. and there you sit on your own, with only a bottle of wine, a bag of chilli peanuts and Netflix for company. It can have a seriously negative impact on people’s lives.

I’ve always said we should take what we want from it, and leave the rest. But what if we don’t know what we want? What if we rely on other people’s opinions to influence us? And yes we often do …. because we either can’t be arsed to find out for ourselves, or our perception is that others are much better at life and adulting than we are. Hmmm. Where does the bleddy truth lie?

The world of social media is a modern day monster 21st century version of the 19th century Svengali. Both are fictional entities that are totally believable! A huge amount of what we read and see is fabricated crap… even on a personal status, facts can be omitted to make everything seem hunkyfuckingdory…. but a few people are brave enough to tell their ‘stories’ warts and all …… and those that do, often get pilloried.

It’s still a big learning game …. my time on social media is slowly reducing, they are so considerate they even add a facility to monitor your screen time! …. Not sure I’ll ever give it up, as living on my own, with masses of time to fill, no financial power to spend lots of time in the real world, or the desire to, as that can be as much of a bleddy nightmare for me as well. Either way I’m screwed. Bollocks.

But I am getting a bit more savvy … but some clever b’stards make it hard work…. hey ho … onwards and bleddy upwards …. on the flip of a coin eh?

Words bleddy fail me!

I’ve had a bit of a struggle recently to get any writing done…. it’s bleddy annoyed me at times. I have done everything I normally do, to bring the right words together…. going over notes, reading, observing and pondering all sorts of shite. Nothing. De nada. Bugger all. Completely and totally in the grip of the dreaded writers block! Buggerations ….

Downright frustrating, and making me as teasy as an adder (that’s Cornish for being in a sodding bad mood) …. there has to be a bleddy reason for it, and I’ve always been pretty good at reasoning… because I reckon I have the good type of the overthinking trait. It’s always helped me to get things into perspective. It’s always helped me to find my way out of the uphill struggles that life has thrown at me. So what was I missing here? Feckkng annoying the shite out of me.

So a couple of days ago, I sat myself down, with my side kick pooch, on my favourite bench (as I do most days) and told myself to look at the issue from a different perspective.

So I did. Instead of looking at it in the face, I took a look from the other side. Then started thinking afresh.

Bleddy hell …. you could have knocked me down with a fluffy unicorn and called me Murgatroyd… it’s not writers block!! it’s something called HAPPINESS!!

Bugger me backwards Betty….. who the fdck would gave thunked that??

Most of my bloggy things have been about finding ways of getting myself back on track, after crashing my sodding way through the completely shit wilderness, trying to find my place in life over last 10 years or so …. guess what?? The emotional rollercoaster has slowed right down. The ride is a much more gentle one! I had already acknowledged how much I have healed…. despite the scars and bruises still being a bit bleddy tender as times. I have also acknowledged the part that old age had had to play. Older and wiser?? Not this fdcking Bear!!

Settling into my latest incarnation, I have found a growing peace of mind. Walking in one of the most beautiful places in my beloved Cornwall, meeting so many like minded people, and talking about things that really matter to me and my day to day living, is a total joy!! It makes me happy….. no matter the weather, or the bad memories that sometimes come back and bite me on my saggy arse, or even the fact that age is taking it toll. Walking is one of the few ways that constantly keeps my mood stable… is highly recommended!!

The other thing I realised is that old age isn’t a barrier to happiness! Yes I sure get achey and creaky. It all age related. It’s physical. It tries to play with the brain Gremlins…. but I do believe that the head squirrels are winning the day! I will continue to age and creak. There’s no chuffing escape from that … it’s fdcking inevitable innit?? It’s just looking at it from another perspective…. doh. The penny has finally dropped!

I haven’t got writers block! I’ve got happiness!

So now I do believe there may be a slight change of direction in my scribblings…. they may possibly be a bit less about my sodding issues, and more about how to deal with peace, quiet, happiness that I have found….. and the simple facts of life.

Some bleddy good ‘problem’ to have eh?? ❤️


We all get ’em…. days that just don’t tie up …. a got out of the wrong side of the bed sort of day. The kind of day you want to wrap yourself up in a blankie, watch shite on tv, eat rubbish and drink yourself into oblivion. But my fdcking budget, and pooch that demands food and exercise, means that wasn’t going to bleddy happen.

So for me the damned day just got progressively worse. No matter what I fdcking touched didn’t cooperate… I was definitely in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong ‘stuff’ and the wrong people. Actually maybe not the people, as I hid myself away …. it’s enough for me to be a screaming point, without taking any other poor sod with me …

Yet somehow I survived the shite day … with no idea how… as I was so frcking tired, I could have slept upright on a sodding tightrope. Not a bleddy clue as to why I was so exhausted…. as I did fdck all!

I was shown this word the other day …. fits the bill perfectly!!

I suppose I could blame the alcohol I had the night before …. but I’m pretty sure that (in my case anyway) two medium glasses of wine after my dinner, wouldn’t class as a bleddy hangover. I don’t take any medication with ‘drowsy’ side effects. I like my life in general. And I fdcking LOVE where I live. So what the fuck was yesterday all about??

The only things I can pinpoint with some accuracy (and it pains me to say it again) is old age. What a sneaky b’stard this is. It creeps up like a stealthy tartan felt slipper with a zip and pompom on the front [those of a ‘certain age’ will understand]…. Oh and I know I am repeating myself … but this shit never fails to surprise me …. with the sudden and devious appearance in my normally quiet existence! I hadn’t exerted myself unnecessarily, got too much fresh air (yea really …. that was suggested!) or any other blasted reason for the tiredness or severely grumpy mood. So the only fucker to blame is Old Age. What kind of fecking sorcery does Mother Nature hold over us?? I am generally in awe of her …. there is so much beauty around in our world …. and every so often she blasts off on a sodding rampage and destroys swathes of our world with natural disasters!

Oh! The bleddy penny has dropped!!!

She’s a woman …. and OLD woman!! After all, she’s been around since time immemorial, she must have days when she’s pissed right off as well!! Duh…..

I try not to dwell on these days as anything other than something I have to deal with … without overthinking it. Though in the past I have to admit I’ve tried … and never found the answer. So guess I’ll just have to put up with the side effects of this ageing process, courtesy of Mother Nature.

It’s a b’stard… but at least the fdcking dog found the answer to the day after all!!

Backbone or Wishbone? Or both?

A lovely gentleman I know, has found a new happiness in his senior years. After working fdcking hard for 55 years, and finally selling up his successful business, he has ‘retired’ to his dream home… and also found a new lady to share it with. That sounds superbly lucky. But I know it wasn’t all plain sailing for him. He has suffered many setbacks, illness and tragedy. Today he is counting his blessings …. and now, on social media, used the expression

Thats what 55 years hard work gets you… The backbone is much more effective than the wish bone.

Now, whilst I appreciated the sentiment, for some niggling reason, I had to have a bleddy ponder over it…

Funnily enough, I was reminded of something my father used to say, with a similar meaning … though not so polite … his version was “Wish in one hand, and shit in the other…. then see which hand gets full first”… (you can see where I get ‘it’ from now eh?)

For those that can’t ‘get’ what we are driving at… it basically means you got to get off your arse and work for what you want. You’ve got to put your back, heart and soul into it. You can’t wish to fulfil your dreams. Or can you??

Now … the reason I needed to ponder, was the fact that my immediate reaction to my friends post, was to respond ‘well… it works for some’ …. I was tempted to write it too… but decided that seemed like a bit of jealousy on my part … and I had no right to spoil the pride he is revealing in the fruits of his labour…

…. and yep… there is jealousy on my part …. how lovely to see what you have worked for come to a ‘successful fruition’…. but to me (and only in my opinion of course!) his statement is a bit of a generalisation…. I worked fucking hard for my 55 years too…. but never got the rewards that he is now enjoying…..

So what made the difference? I suppose I have to say, much against the grain, that because I was a woman. I spent decades bringing up a family …. but I also worked full time whilst doing that! (Ffs that’s two full time jobs being done at the same time!!) I did suffer inequalities in the workplace…. being turned down for jobs because I was a woman (and mother!). It was before the equality stuff came in obviously… but even after, when I became an employer, I knew first hand there were devious ways around that shit! I still don’t think it’s easy for any woman to get into decent jobs… without working twice as hard as most men … *waits for the arrows of outraged testosterone to be lobbed in my direction*…

It was difficult to make my way into responsible jobs… because I only had my organisational skills, and no qualifications, as had to leave school at 15 to contribute to the family coffers. But then so did my male friend. So can’t really use that as an ‘argument’.

I didn’t do too bad when I was married… at one time I earned more than my first husband… let me tell you …. he didn’t fdcking like it either! That was a big factor in beginning of the end of the 17 years of marital bliss…. *she coughs* ..,

The second go at marriage saw a business built to a successful level … people told me how lucky I was and enjoyed the fruits of that labour… with me always saying that “it’s funny that the harder you work, the luckier you get’…. until my usefulness had expired after 23 years… in both business and personal life. Hmmm.

From here my ‘fortunes’ took a downward spiral. In wonderful ‘hindsight’ … I made fuckkng stupid choices and decisions… but don’t we all?? I’ve just about stopped blaming myself … as there certainly were extenuating circumstances in much of what I did.

But seeing my friends comment, it rather rubbed salt into my healing wounds. It fucking stung for a little while too…. then I took a reality check. Yes…I worked bleddy hard …. and No, I don’t have that financial security, or the material lifestyle it buys….

What I do have is peace of mind…. that I did just about everything I could have. I had my own setbacks, illnesses and tragedy. My route has been very different… that’s all.

But I now I reckon I did have a backbone and a wishbone. My backbone gave me the tenacity to hang on in there. My wishbone gave me the dream to be chuffing happy at the end of the day…, regardless of all the shit thrown my way.

It’s all about perceptions of where you are in life. What you see in others, may not be all you see. You have no idea of the cost of getting there…. and that’s different for everyone! We all get broken at times, and we often have our dreams…. we must all have a backbone and a wishbone.

The only big difference between my friend and I, is that he has someone to share it with … oh hang on… isn’t that what my pooch is for? And she probably is a lot cheaper to keep than a man. In the past, they have proved to be a luxury I can’t bleddy afford!!

There’s always a bleddy price to pay …

  • And I’m not talking about the current shambles of Brexshit… but the price of making life choices in general … there really isn’t any such thing as a free lunch… there is always some chuffing price to pay… such is the paradox of life itself. There is good and bad in every thing we choose in life. As always I say it’s about finding the balance.
  • I live in the land of pasties and cream teas (jam first!). Food is rich (and fattening) in most cases. We love our comfort food … and historically it was needed…. being (in the main) farmers, fishermen and miners …. hard physical work (including the women) … and therefore the Cornish were all of a sturdy and stocky nature.
  • Nowadays, work often is less strenuous, but we still love our food … so a few of us *cough* are carrying a few extra pounds… a price to pay. But can’t blame it all on our county delicacies… the influx of ‘outsiders’ bring with them the need for other fast, ‘junk’ food …. (I bet a few buggers will be offended being called that…. but find me another bleddy word for it! Oh yea ….emmets!) . Not always satisfied with our own ‘fast’ food of pasties and proper fish and chips… and now we’ve all taken on board burgers, pizza, Chinese and Indian takeaways. The price we are all now paying for all this deliciousness is obesity. Bugger.
  • And with the impending surge in our population, due to tourists from all over the world, eating al fresco means the return of the scavenging sodding sky rats. (Seagulls to everyone else) many holidaymakers think it’s great fun to throw food to the feathered feckers… and the complain when a bleddy mini albatross frightens the shit out of their offspring, whilst nicking their chips or ice cream …. and let me tell you, it’s no fecking joke when their resulting shit hits your head, back and ruins your sodding day .. let alone your best angora cardie you bought especially to go on holiday, and stay warm enough to eat your chosen supper on the beach/prom/pier. Such is the price you should be prepared to pay.
  • Now don’t get me wrong…. before some bugger gets the feckkng hump … we know that tourism plays a big part of our economy …. but it would be nice to have a bit of respect for the place people are ticking off their bucket list. Regular visitors are usually empathetic with our beautiful Duchy…. but a fair old few couldn’t really give a shit … and lob their crappy rubbish into lay bys , leave it on beaches and cliff tops, and even chuck it over our garden walls. That’s not unique to their holiday I’m sure… bet they do the same anywhere. Inconsiderate twats.
  • It’s a price we have to pay … along with expensive property that locals can’t afford… as ironically we are one of the poorest places in the country …. It’s because we are one of the most beautiful, and sought after places for people to have holiday homes … another sodding price to pay … or not.. if you’re Cornish and live here, and want a home.

    But despite all the downsides …. I’m more than fecking happy to pay the price to see this several times a day …. my Paradise … I’ve found my balance…. I’m one of the lucky buggers.

    Filosophy is fecking fun [for beginners]

    Socrates…. that’s him there, the Ancient Greek hipster type …. one of the earliest of the ‘big guns’ in Greek Philosophers …. didn’t write anything down apparently …. it was his big fan Plato who started to get this philosophical shit down on papyrus… along with his mate Aristotle. Now, what I didn’t know was that Pythagoras was also one of the happy band of Ancient Thinkers… yep, him of the sum of the angles and hypotenuse jobbie… apparently he was a bit of everything … a Pythag of All Trades so to speak. But what a great bunch of bleddy blokes they were. Clever beyond belief. No fucking education … but lived to ripe old ages without doing a fecking stitch of real work! (Apart from one twat, who thought he was immortal, and chucked himself into a volcano)…

    So the first Academy to learn proper shit, was set up donkeys years before we had the tip over between BC and AC… this is where a bit of trouble began I reckon. Because other people [Romans] started to get smart and think for themselves too… And their ideas of what we (as humans, not Greek Gods) are supposed to do with ourselves, started to spill over into other areas. ( I blame that bugger Pythagoras)…. it even got into politics … can you see where I’m going yet??

    Anyway, these Ancient Thinkers still managed to hold onto the general building blocks of their philosophies for a few centuries… long after they kicked their respective buckets. Then along came them there Modern Philosophers … armed with science, mathematics, and the ever progressive medieval technologies. I think it was those buggers that ‘invented’ realism and idealism. As I understand it, it was at this point those buggers took up where those ancient geezers left off, and really started arguing the case for our very bleddy existence… are we really here? Or not? Are we form or matter?

    The more ‘educated’ people got, the more other problems crept in. Not happy with their ‘positions’ in life, more and more bleddy peasants got ideas above their fdcking station. Wars started to become commonplace over any bleddy thing. Forget just survival … sodding principles kicked in.

    Then some fucker started talking about ‘materialism‘…. As if there wasn’t enough shit going on….

    I haven’t explored much of the newer Philosophers yet … but I’m sure it’ll open another bleddy Pandora’s Box of Mad Frogs…. we are our own worst enemies … we should just talk … like Socrates… don’t write anything down… then no evidence to be held against us.

    Well I’ve broken that fecking rule eh?

    My philosophy? Do what you want. Be happy. Fuck everyone else. Anarchy didn’t work … and as for democracy?? Well it’s pretty fdcking damaged at the moment. And the fuckers that rule our world are classed as ‘educated‘…. so we can blame them for the shit we are in.

    Or you can blame Socrates instead… up to you, you have the choices.

    *Trundles back into her cave to read more fun stuff*

    Not the 6 o’clock News

    Image result for bear looking in window

    So what have I gleaned this week, by means of passive listening to the radio and TV, and what’s posted on social media??


    The Brexshit Bandwagon rolls on….  More waste of time votes, because it seems if the vote goes against expectation, then democracy isn’t working? WTF does that mean?? Shockingly, educated and intellectual people are getting overheated and vitriolic everywhere, all depending on which side of the ever growing amount of political fences you sit on…. Though I think the ‘best’  bleddy thing I saw was some woman saying that “Deal or no deal, it will be bad for dieters”….  Yep …. I’m sure that sodding well sums it up! And did Trump sulk, because our PM didn’t listen to him?? Well if that’s right, at least she hasn’t made things even worse than they already are!


    All of this political crap whilst absolutely awful shit was happening out in the ‘real’ world…. A plane crashes killing everyone… it grounds a fleet of airplanes, as they investigate the ‘rogue’ mechanical fault. Oh hang on a minute…. This bit of random kit  suddenly developed a personality all of its own, and performed a ‘death wish’? In my ‘umble opinion, some technical wizards invented said kit, technical engineers etc., are employed to look after that said kit, and ensure it’s airworthiness, therefore, by any rational deduction, it surely has to be a human failure ….


    Then a mass shooting in New Zealand, horrendous deliberate carnage…. And many people are blamingmental health issuesfor the slaughter. This makes my bleddy blood boil…. It’s offensive to people who are struggling just to function each day through anxiety, stress and depression. Sure, the guy was MENTALLY TWISTED …. not sodding wired up right, but mental health should never be used in this context. History is littered with megalomaniacs who think they are more powerful and worthy of recognition, and went on to commit acts of atrocity…. These b’stards were never suffering what is regarded as mental health nowadays…. The tortured people who are suffering severe depression, are more likely to take their own lives than that of others. LIke the young reality show celeb who hung himself…. (And the three local ‘ordinary’ young people who died by their own hand)  I’m sure their parents would be fucking horrified to think that their beloved child is classed as the same as the fucking b’strd that shot all those innocent people…. And then comes another shooting incident in Utrecht…. If these mentally twisted b’stards want to cause harm….they will….and it’s everywhere and anywhere …. How sad…..


    In other news, we had Red Nose Day…more plastic to add to the shitloads we can’t get rid of now… a young 15 year old Swedish girl has managed to get her voice heard over other eco campaigners… clever girl, or as I am such a cynic, clever promotion…. People complained about children having a ‘day off’ school, to campaign for their future environment. Where’s the bleddy harm in that? Missing out on a days education? Well as far as I am concerned, the educated society that runs our country, doesn’t fill me with great expectation….. Best these kids get some practical stuff in their heads to make sure they have a bleddy future worth having….


    On the sports front, we had a Grand Slam in the 6 Nations Rugby, a brutal, entertaining tournament, where every team had the same opportunities, and the best team won. A lesson there methinks. A woman won a ‘grade one’ race over the jumps at Cheltenham… first time it has happened…. all through sheer hard work and focussed determination… another lesson? Then the Formula One season began… the biggest money [play] pit for all the rich people in the world… ‘a showcase for innovation and technology’ apparently… yea right… Billions of dollars being used to highlight the haves and have nots. Doesn’t stop me from bleddy loving it though… I ain’t perfect….. So what else?


    I heard the new T.O.W.I.E isn’t great with the new younger participants… exciting huh? We had St Patricks Day…. when it seems most of the population of England suddenly became Oirish… or was it just an excuse to have a glorious piss up on the black stuff?? The new film about our lovely Fishermen’s Friends was released… and now I expect every other fucker will be singing sea shanties in a crap Cornish accent…. And apparently (according to ‘fans’) the best thing ever on tv this year is Mary Berry being given a drum lesson by Rick Astley…. Proof (if required) that he is ‘never gonna to give [you] up’….


    …. And I have to admit that I stopped wrestling with the bleddy printer cartridges last evening, (whilst waiting for my Emmerdale Comedy Show fix!)…  to watch the news article about the dreadful natural disaster unfolding in east Africa….the report showed a snapshot of the humanitarian cost…. then promptly went into a much deeper report on climate change. Almost dismissing those poor people as ‘natural wastage’…. Where is this on social media?? Instead we get coverage of Carol Vordeman’s ‘remodelled arse… and there’s plenty of bleddy coverage to be done on it! What the fuck has happened to our priorities??


    I’m done here… I’ll get me fecking coat…