I used to consider that losing the plot was a negative…. now I don’t bleddy care … not a jot!
Recently, I have wondered why we have all become so cynical and self absorbed …. (and I include myself in that). But I only have to look further afield than my own personal environment to see why. The bleddy world doesn’t really appeal to me …. buffoons, bigots and the Hooray Henry chinless wonders are running the world to ruination…. pursuing greed for power. Cynical me eh??
I take the view that my gradual ‘withdrawal’ from the real (?) world is best for me…. choosing to call it self care …. and in all honesty I don’t give a flying fuck if people think I’m nuts….. Self absorbed me eh??
…. though there is a little irony here… as recently some people have remarked that I have more friends than them… wtf has that to do with the price of fish? I know a few people, I’m acquainted with a few more. I have a very small circle of close friends, and an even smaller circle who I trust implicitly. I’ve also been told I socialise a lot more than them. How the fuck do they work that out, when I go out (as in socialising) maybe once or twice a month, and don’t belong to any groups. And in all fairness I’m not bothered. Are we also becoming obsessed with comparing our lives??
My life wouldn’t suit the majority of people I know… it takes a ‘speshul’ kind of attitude to not live how others think we should.
It took over a year to adjust … especially listening to people who said I’d be isolated… when in actual fact I’m far from it. It’s just appears isolated to them. So it’s not my circus and not my monkeys….
Thanks to my retirement I don’t have any particular time demanded routine… I can do as I please… the dog and I do what we want to do… as and when. I mix with folk when invited, or if I feel the need. There is no plot any more… and I’m bleddy happy about it.
The more I scoot back into my cave, the happier I get ….
The last week or so have been full of reasons why I know that, at the moment, I have no fecking plot…. I’m happy and comfortable…. so no reason to change a bleddy thing for the sake of it…. as others perceptions will always be different anyway.
In the meantime, the big wide world will keep turning, throwing up more shite for people to get hot under the collar about. Higher rates of anxiety/stress/depression/suicide are no coincidences…. but I’m not going there ever again….
I also don’t actually feel the need to keep charting my progress…. so even writing is getting less of a priority… I can hear the fucking cheers already!!
Laters peeps…. probably a lot later … but you know where I am anyway 😎