I’ve had a bit of a struggle recently to get any writing done…. it’s bleddy annoyed me at times. I have done everything I normally do, to bring the right words together…. going over notes, reading, observing and pondering all sorts of shite. Nothing. De nada. Bugger all. Completely and totally in the grip of the dreaded writers block! Buggerations ….
Downright frustrating, and making me as teasy as an adder (that’s Cornish for being in a sodding bad mood) …. there has to be a bleddy reason for it, and I’ve always been pretty good at reasoning… because I reckon I have the good type of the overthinking trait. It’s always helped me to get things into perspective. It’s always helped me to find my way out of the uphill struggles that life has thrown at me. So what was I missing here? Feckkng annoying the shite out of me.
So a couple of days ago, I sat myself down, with my side kick pooch, on my favourite bench (as I do most days) and told myself to look at the issue from a different perspective.
So I did. Instead of looking at it in the face, I took a look from the other side. Then started thinking afresh.
Bleddy hell …. you could have knocked me down with a fluffy unicorn and called me Murgatroyd… it’s not writers block!! it’s something called HAPPINESS!!
Bugger me backwards Betty….. who the fdck would gave thunked that??
Most of my bloggy things have been about finding ways of getting myself back on track, after crashing my sodding way through the completely shit wilderness, trying to find my place in life over last 10 years or so …. guess what?? The emotional rollercoaster has slowed right down. The ride is a much more gentle one! I had already acknowledged how much I have healed…. despite the scars and bruises still being a bit bleddy tender as times. I have also acknowledged the part that old age had had to play. Older and wiser?? Not this fdcking Bear!!
Settling into my latest incarnation, I have found a growing peace of mind. Walking in one of the most beautiful places in my beloved Cornwall, meeting so many like minded people, and talking about things that really matter to me and my day to day living, is a total joy!! It makes me happy….. no matter the weather, or the bad memories that sometimes come back and bite me on my saggy arse, or even the fact that age is taking it toll. Walking is one of the few ways that constantly keeps my mood stable…..it is highly recommended!!
The other thing I realised is that old age isn’t a barrier to happiness! Yes I sure get achey and creaky. It all age related. It’s physical. It tries to play with the brain Gremlins…. but I do believe that the head squirrels are winning the day! I will continue to age and creak. There’s no chuffing escape from that … it’s fdcking inevitable innit?? It’s just looking at it from another perspective…. doh. The penny has finally dropped!
I haven’t got writers block! I’ve got happiness!
So now I do believe there may be a slight change of direction in my scribblings…. they may possibly be a bit less about my sodding issues, and more about how to deal with peace, quiet, happiness that I have found….. and the simple facts of life.
Some bleddy good ‘problem’ to have eh?? ❤️