So…. it’s that time when a lot of people make ‘resolutions‘ …. to do all sorts of stuff in the next 12 months…. many will be broken by the end of the first day! So why bleddy bother??
Because no matter what, you should give yourself something to aim for. Without some purpose/aim/dream your life will stagnate.
We can sign up for Dry January… or Forget Fast Food in February…. Chuck the Chocolate in March etc., but if you’re any thing like me you’ll be “Oh look booze aisle/McDonalds/Easter eggs!” after 48 hours. Of course there are those super focused folk who will do the whole month…. raise money for a good cause… and then on the first day of the following month go “Oh get me to the booze aisle/McDonalds/Easter eggs!”….. excellent achievements…. but not long term.
If you are going to make a difference to your life, you have to actually believe you can make that difference to your life. But it will never come easy, there will always be a cost involved and it may bleddy hurt at times. Nobody ever said that life would be simple, free or painless.
How do I know?? Because I’ve only gone and fdcking done it!! innit!!
Ten years (TEN years!!) ago today, I knew I had to do something about my unhappy life. I was ‘happy’ on the ‘outside’…. but broken into many painful pieces on the ‘inside’. In a one sided relationship. Feeling used and unloved by the one person I adored and idolised. So I made that ‘resolution ‘. I had no fecking idea how or what I was going to do… but knew that it was time for me to be happy ‘inside’ again.
I have charted the story of how I did it. Well most of it anyway … I’m not doing that again here. It’s just a reminder to anyone who want to achieve something different in their life… that it IS possible. Over time. And time is precious, so use it well.
But I sure buggered about with my time!! In hindsight (oh the wonderful sodding hindsight!) I saw periods when I was on the right road… and then my car crash mentality took over and screwed it up for a while. But …yep here is the BUT… I made it back on track … I had disasters and learning curves a’plenty, I did and said stuff to make people put their heads in their hands …. and plenty of shite things that made me to cringe, and feel sick about afterwards.
But I wouldn’t change a fucking minute of it. Because that’s me. It’s who I am…..
I may have been able to get where I am now, by not making those shite mistakes on the way…. but I believe they were done for the best wrong reasons! I know what I don’t want anymore, and grateful for everything I actually have in my life right now! It ain’t a lot …, but most of what I have, you cannot buy….
It has taken me that 10 years (10 years!!) to find peace of mind. (Well, as peaceful as my fecking gremlin/squirrel ridden head will ever be!). It may not be a ‘perfect’ life… that’s only a hackneyed perception. But I no longer hate myself, I no longer dread waking up, I no longer have to ‘put on a front’.
I’m am the potty mouthed, wine swilling, drivel writing, time wasting, grumpy old Bear I want to be!
In the words of the song “You can be anything that you want to be”…. it’s all up to you!
But don’t make ‘resolutions’ …. give yourself ‘Challenges’… embrace your mistakes, faults and shortcomings, because they are part of who you are!
Always be kind, and true to yourself … and amazing things will happen …. but please try and do it quicker than the dumbassed fecking Bear!!
Much loves to you all for a wonderful 2019.
The Bear 🐻 xxxx